my everything
by pomme.bleu
Summary: hikari x kei. The forever watching kei and the oblivious hikari. Will she ever understand?
1. Chapter 1

My Everything.

Yes an incredibly lame very cliché sounding title.

Inspired by the song: My Everything by The Grace

Disclaimer:  
Do not own any of the characters - are the authors and the people that own it legally property  
Direct lyrics used from the song My Everything by The Grace are just my own translations. Check out their [mv] on youtube or something. I suppose the lyrics are property of SM entertainment and The Grace.  
Why is this disclaimer always here?... All these are fanfics of course we don't own the characters.. .''''

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Always watching from behind, he was her constant shadow. It was so blatantly obvious: his position, his motives, his feelings for her, just not to her. She remained oblivious to everything, even though she was the centre of it all. Creating joy, creating pain unknowingly she went about life with no concerns, while greatly impacting upon the life of another. If only she knew.

**

The fog that came with every breath said that it was going to be another day. I liked the cold winters, nature seemed to have a calmer, a more sad mood. Unlike the warmer months there life wasn't plentiful, it was silent. The trees stood bare with spiny spread fingers reaching nowhere. Yet there was a serene beauty of the white plains of snow and the delicately decorated branches; like a certain ray of happiness through the sad. I felt like nature reflected exactly my feelings.

Our school still lacked heating in some of the class rooms, unfortunately one of the few unlucky classrooms just happened to be mine...and hers. It was just like any other winter morning. I sat at my desk second from the left in row third from the back, right near the window. Although I lived quite a distance away from school I was always one of the early ones. The biting cool wind that characterized the early winter mornings was refreshing and the emptiness of the seemingly endless street that was my path made me calm and peaceful, rather than accentuate my loneliness. I had all the time in my little white wonderland world to think and clear the clutter that was my mind. Every morning I would drift onto thoughts about her. Just thinking of her, remembering her cute expressions that always caught me unexpectedly were enough to make me smile to myself. And so every night I would look forward to the coming morning, to the long walk of false memories that gave me the most pathetic small happiness. Those drifting thoughts are enough, for now.

I sit staring out the window seeing shapes that aren't really there that somehow resemble her beautiful long hair, or her deep eyes. I hope that I will catch a glance of her as she runs through the gate desperate not to be caught late and punished by the strict gym teacher. But again I get lost in my own thoughts. My friends are used to this: me just staring into space looking like I am searching for something just not sure what, they now just look and shake their heads with a sigh. It isn't like I want to be like this, but I can't seem to help it.

CRASH!

I quickly awoke from my day dreams by the loud interruption. On the classroom floor were fallen books and getting up slowly the protagonist of all my dreams. She looked so graceful, with her silky long dark hair and the small light body. But she had an ability to find something to trip over on a perfectly flat surface like our linoleum; it could never cease to amaze me. I could not help but to let out a snigger. She was so cute, all flustered and trying to quickly pick up her books in embarrassment.

Getting up quickly she walked past, not failing to give me her most fierce, or so she thought, glare. Another chuckle escaped my lips.

"What? You think it's so funny Takishima!"

Her huffed expression and burnt cheeks. That was my limit. I admit I am weak.

I shook with full blown laughter.

"Who wouldn't? How do you fall over on a perfectly flat surface?"

"You don't ever trip huh?"

"No, but its linoleum..."

She opened her mouth, no doubt with some sort of comeback. But she was interrupted by a throat cough from the front of the room.

"Miss Hanazono, if you could please take a seat. We are about to start class..."

"Oh.. um sorry sir um... well.. then.. please.. start?.. sorry..."

I watched her stumble to her desk one desk diagonal from mine with a small smile. Maybe today will be a good day.

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The story kind of drifted away from what I was thinking of first, so I kind of let it. So instead of the oneshot I thought I was going to write, I'm going to start my first ever long story~ hahahhaha ^^

Yes.. I'm sorry but I tend to write in short bursts~ n_n

I hope you will enjoy it, and enjoyed this (?) hehehe

Until next time.


	2. Chapter 2

My Everything.

The Second Chapter.

Disclaimer:  
Characters, Lyrics used are not my property, they belong to the people that have the legal papers that say that they own them.

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Even though I sat behind her, I could see the fiery shade of scarlet that burned through her whole face. The way she fidgeted and quietly grumbled to herself told me that she would be wanting to continue the argument later. I could imagine her huffed facial expression as she leant over her books and gathered her many worksheets, and organised them on her too small desk. Like some ferocious kitten she would attack the mountains of paper that created walls around her desk. Furiously studying, her face will relax to that of some balance between determination and happiness. Determined again to beat me in the next midterms. Of course I won't let her win. I can't let her win. It is the fragile string that connects both of us. That we are both aware of that is...

_It was a warm summer morning the first time I saw her. I was feeling annoyed. Grandfather was in Japan again. That morning he was dissatisfied with yet another petty thing and like always he decided to take it out on me. Was there anything in the world that he was content about? My mother wouldn't be home again for a long I thought. As soon as she heard that grandfather was coming she fled to her villa in Australia. Sighing I walked the path to school. The sun glared brightly high in the sky, not helping my mood one bit. My white cotton shirt was already sticking to my back and school had not even started yet. The heat, grandfather, this purgatory like school; when would it all end. Everyday felt like fighting against a suffocating force. Suddenly breaking my sinking thoughts, a single cool wisp of air with the sweetest scent. Time slowed down as streak of dark hair flew past me. She seemed to be in a hurry as she didn't even notice when she slightly bumped into me. A stream of hot blue electricity travelled up my arm where she lightly touched. I looked after her fading figure with an expression of shock. Then I saw her in class..._

I think it was from then that I was drawn to her. I found myself subconsciously looking in her direction, walking to where she was and thinking about her without realizing.

But the connection we shared was in our competitiveness, well actually her competitiveness and my compliance.

_I was surprised when I found out that her father and mine were close friends. Contrasting to his baby face, my father is actually a pro wrestling fanatic. Hikari and I had both grown up with these wrestling loving freaks and as a result we were both very competent fighters. That day I learnt her love for challenges. No matter how many times she lost to me, she always get up and enthusiastically re-challenged me. Of course I beat her easily every time. But I was surprised. I wasn't used to this. People usually didn't approach me and whispered behind my back. They called me the genius, the brilliant child. They saw me but never approached me. Life was so boring. And then this breath of fresh air had interrupted the purgatory. Again like an idiot I looked wistfully at her shrinking back image. _

Tick Tick Tick,

Glancing up at the clock, it was already the end of class. Another class wasted reminiscing in the few short memories I had with Hikari. I have already learned everything that would be taught this year anyway. Everyone was leaving already; my eyes automatically scanned the room for the small black haired girl that i had been thinking about. It wasn't surprising to see her oblivious that the people around her had already left and the class had already ended. She was still writing at a furious pace. I wonder how many pencils she goes through in a day. I slowly step towards her,

"Ni – san , class ended already. Didn't you notice?"

She turned, face full of annoyance.

"Don't call me ni-san!"

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I do have exams, and I was not going to update.

But French has been boring as I finished my speaking assessment earlier this week.

This was pretty much a just Kei thinking about the past during class time.

Again i fell into a tangent..


	3. Chapter 3

My Everything.

– The Second Story.

The Third Chapter.

Disclaimer:  
Characters, Lyrics used are not my property, they belong to the people that have the legal papers that say that they own them.

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Like always Akira had prepared a picnic outside. How she managed to get all the food to school and keep it looking not squashed, was probably one of the only things that I would never know. But I was glad that she could do it. More so, I was thankful that Akira was best friends with Hikari, which meant that I would sit and eat lunch with her nearly every day. Today Akira had laid a Blue Tartan picnic rug with an assortment of English tea cakes and sandwiches, and of course her favourite colour changing tea. Everyone was now used to Akira's obsession over having a 'proper tea time', I swear she only came to school so she could have this picnic.

The beautiful long haired girl that took over my dreams was sitting beside Akira. After our last encounter she had stormed off. I suppose she was going to try the ignoring technique, not she was able to hold her grudges for long. She seemed to be venting out her annoyance of our brief meeting before, judging from the lasers that Akira was sending me with her eyes. She was practically steaming. Adorable, just from a little teasing she got so worked up. With a smile secretly playing on my lips I walked towards the grandiose picnic.

I sat myself down right next to her. Even after all this time, I still felt static electricity between us. I wonder if she felt it too. I wish that she felt it as well. I looked at her. She responded... well by being non responsive. And of course Akira was behind her throwing daggers at me with her eyes. Before Hikari, Akira and I had been moderately close child hood friends. But now her overprotection of 'her angel' seemed to sprout extra tensions between us. But then again Hikari was equally oblivious to the piercing glares her friend gave as she was to my feelings.

Maybe it was selfish for hoping that she would suddenly realise my position and reciprocate the emotions. To her I was only another one of her friends with the exception of being her rival.

Her Rival.

Although it wasn't exactly the connection that I wanted between us, but it was all there really was. It was a thin line that I protected. It kept her near me. I would have to be happy with it. For now.  
It was only through this fragile relationship which we talked.

"So... ni-san.... The midterm exams are coming up aren't they?"

I said so care freely while watching for her reaction through my peripheral vision. I knew how she would. I had used all the key elements: the pet name, the mention of the coming exams and the carefree 'I don't care' tone. Of course, I was just teasing her, and not intending to aggravate her. She wouldn't be able to hold her cold shoulder grudge.

And as of my prediction her head quickly whipped around revealing a huffed red face. Eyes glinting with excitement she got up in one fluid movement to fully face me.

"Takishima! I challenge you for the next midterm exams. I will definitely beat you!"

Her voice radiated confidence, unusual for someone that had been beaten so many times. Although her words were not of affection, but rather the opposite, they did not fail to have a warming effect on me. I basked in the short attention that she gave to only me. Those short words were only for me. From her to me.

"Well, try you best Ni-san. And good luck you will need it if you want to even think about beating me"

The words flowed out as easily as the secret smiles that played on my lips every time I saw her. Beating me would grant her happiness. As much as I wanted to grant her happiness, but this was one that she couldn't have. If she did beat me, then the rivalry would be over. And with that my special relationship with her would also diminish. I would not be her greatest rival and friend, but just another guy that happened to be friends with her friends and sat behind her in class. No, I couldn't lose the small connection she identified between us.

Her eyes narrowed. And she promptly turned again to talk to Akira.

I guess that the ignoring would be starting again.

But again, I wouldn't let it last too long.

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I changed my pen name ^^

Jun.123 -

Please continue to read my stories XP  
I hope you enjoyed my latest chapter.

I decided that I have to just let it get written as it goes, I always go on a tangent to what I was thinking of writing.''.

Thank you for the awesome reviews: they make me so happy ^^.

I am thinking of starting a new story

I don't know what category to put it in . anyway watch out for it XP


	4. message

Hello.

I'm sorry. I just announced that this was going to be a weekly series. But this is not a Chapter. .'''

Right now I am in the middle of my MOCK EXAMS ack!!!!!!  
so my creative juice is getting used up by my academic needs .. = =... also I don't really know where my story is going.. .

My exam block will be lasting for 3 weeks.. .'' ... hmm this like a very early vacation for this story.  
so when I get back and I finish all my exams.. I will be catching up on the weeks I missed by having a hardcore updating this story. And also releasing a new one~ ^^ yay! Hahahha

Thank you to everyone who has read my story so far.  
I'm sorry that my chapters don't go very long. .''' I will try to make the next ones more longer and have a good plot ready!!!!

Until the end of my exams~~ = ='''  
I hope you all have a nice day and are well. ^^


	5. Chapter 4

My Everything.

– The Second Story.

The Fourth Chapter.

Disclaimer:  
Characters, Lyrics used are not my property, they belong to the people that have the legal papers that say that they own them.

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The cool winter sky was refreshingly clear, unlike my tangled mind. School was dull like always, and I had run out of Hikari Classes for today. I really didn't feel the need to attend class. The teacher at the front just droned on and on, I need not listen to a rerun of the text book that I had memorized twice already. It was similar to for the rest of our group of friends, all the top of the top of our respective grades, being tutored from a young age, it was something that was expected of the elite crowd. But we still dropped into classes from time to time, although it was not compulsory and not a necessity.

Unfortunately, today only my morning classes were the same as Hikari's. I really found no point in going without her. There really was nothing to look forward to. Nothing drew me to class. Nothing made me excited. Nothing gave me even the smallest glimmer of happiness or relief. No, instead the monotonous classrooms only reminded me of the suffocating enclosure erected by my grandfather.

I was at my usual spot. In the usual position. Thinking of the usual thing.

The meadow above the school was my secret place. It was like the scene that I saw out of the window of freedom from the entrapping prison, a place that was free from any of the modern worlds grasps. A place free from the prejudices and the judgemental expectations weighing down the atmosphere of the world. A place where I could get lost by myself in lonely thoughts. A place of truly nothing.

But that didn't mean that the place was desolate. Within its free nothingness I found consolidation and succumbed to the charm of the small hidden meadow. Enclosed by trees, I doubted that even the wanderlust Tadashi had visited here. Unexpectedly through layer after layer of grotesque forest shrubbery and overgrown weeds, I had stumbled into this sanctuary. The grass was pristine, almost magical that it was kept so well amongst the swamp of bush that surrounded our school. Always, whether it be summer, spring, winter or autumn the sky was washed over with a pale blue. A cool colour that was able to be revitalizing yet blanket me in total calmness. It was funny, although this area was still some what part of the school, the sky always seemed to be look different here. Clearer? Bluer? Transparent? Tranquil? The answer to simplicity.

Countless times already this year I had come to visit this secret clearing. Again I was laying flat on my back, drawing shapes above that didn't exist, letting my thoughts lead into the endless space of calmness. Even though it was the coldness of winter, the ground beneath me was insulating and slightly warmer than myself. This was certainly a mysterious, yet magical, place, and without it the purgatory of school would have been less bearable.

My thoughts drifted back to Hikari. I wonder where she is right now. I could clearly outline in my mind, her every detail. Her shiny long black hair, luxurious in its silkiness, flowed effortlessly around her framing her pretty face like a halo. Her petite frame that was light and agile but also surprisingly strong. She was athletic, academic, intelligent, cute, friendly and could do anything in her determination. I loved her small pretty face, her petite mouth that I longed to kiss, her cute button nose and of course her expressive shining eyes that always had a glint of competitive excitement and knowledge. Her eyes that always challenged me if the occasion arose. Her eye that seemed like windows into her pure soul. Her eyes that seem to reflect back at me and like the crystal sky washed a wave of serenity over me.

My eyes subconsciously drifted through the blockade of forest shrubbery to a distant image. Here I could also see the opening gates of the school where I had first bumped into Hikari. The old red brick walls enclosing our massive school and the black metal gates flooded me with nostalgia and sadness. It had been over a year now since I met her, and fell for her. We met nearly everyday. And on those lucky weekends when my father wanted to meet his wrestling buddy on the weekends if both of us weren't busy. My feelings were hopefully not too obvious. But she was an observant girl, always with a glimmer of knowledge behind her eyes. She could pick up even the subtlest clues and hints. Yet, to my sadness, she could never understand the overwhelming emotions I held for her.

Sighing out loud, I wondered if it is better this way. Maybe it is better that she is oblivious to me, as it allows me to stand next to her as her friend, as her rival. I would have to be satisfied with that for now. I could not live if she ran away from me, if she was out of my life. No, if staying as just merely her friend kept her by my side I was willing to stay where I was. But still it hurt.

The school bell rang in my ears, had so much time already passed. I sat up, dusting myself, ready to make my way back to school grounds, when I spied a black streak. I could immediately recognise her even from such a distance. A small smile played on my lips.

Hikari.

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I'm sorry that I have not updated in a while, my exam block finished ^^ yay!!!!

I will be updating this on Saturdays as planned n_n

A new story is up, I decided to just keep it in the S.A category again:

"Surprise Meeting"

It will be updated on Sundays.

I have to start putting in uni applications in so I will be a little busy, but I will try my best to update good chapters ^^

Thankyou for reading, I hope you enjoyed it ~ ^^

Peace .x


	6. Chapter 5

My Everything.

– The Second Story.

The Fifth Chapter.

Disclaimer:  
Characters, Lyrics used are not my property, they belong to the people that have the legal papers that say that they own them.

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Club activities; they were compulsory in our school's curriculum. I suppose that they are just to make the school look active and create a higher standard from the outside. Our school was no doubt the most elite in the area, maybe in the whole prefecture. From the gothic styled buildings build with vintage red bricks and scaled by climbing ivy, the many expansive gardens ranging from traditional English to Japanese styles, and the futuristic interiors adorned with the newest technologies; just with appearance it didn't look like merely a high school. Only one other school in the prefecture could possibly even compare to the grandiose plot that was the school, our rival +_______+. But it wasn't only the looks that put us on top. The school was filled with the children of the most elite and high class families of the whole of Japan. The presence of the richest and most high class families in Japan attracted more elite families to send their children, resulting in the population of our school. Of course, there were the exceptions, usually the children of the yakuza (only of the leaders of course, who do not follow the street thug stereotype all people have at all). The top of the crop was what made up the members of the club that I was going to meet.

The large greenhouse, affectionately known as "Paradise", was our meeting place. It was built especially for us last year. This construction, while it may be in any other school, was not surprising; the children of the most influential and richest families in Japan were in this club. It did not take a genius to work out the source of the majority of the school's funding. Although it was still relatively new, it had a vintage and aged aura to it. The high glass ceiling held together with intricate ashen metal lines, the lazily turning vintage fans that allowed further air circulation in form of a slight breeze and of course the bountiful green leafy plants that never seemed to wilt characterised our club room. We did not do much. Akira held one of her favourite tea parties, baking various sweets and pastries in the thoroughly supplied kitchen built especially for her. And we just sat around the white antique coffee table and talked waiting for Akira to announce that day's menu.

Coming from the meadow in the clearing, I arrived a bit late; it wasn't like I was in a hurry anyway. When I arrived everyone would be there, no doubt Akira proudly presenting her afternoon tea while swatting Tadashi over the head to prevent him from inhaling all the food she had prepared in a matter of minutes. Tadashi would be sporting a swollen face from his attempts for an early 'tasting', as he calls it. Ryuu the tall quiet yet charismatic animal lover would have some new animal draped over him affectionally. And then of course not too far away would be the twins, both prodigal children born to a couple of musical geniuses. They would be fighting the animal for Ryuu's attention and affection, and pulling disappointed expressions and glaring at the innocent animal. And then there would be her.

Usually she was surrounded by another mountainous pile of books, erecting walls around her nearly rendering her invisible. It was as if she built a house for herself and live in her own world for a while that was full of competition and the need to become number one. Sometimes I wonder how one person could contain so much energy and effort, especially one so small and delicate as Hikari. But then again, Akira could have seized her yet again. Hikari was supposedly 'her angel'. Sure there was nothing for me to be jealous about, since they are best of friends but sometimes maybe a little I did feel it. I envied how she could so easily be so close to her. And the special bond they seemed to share that was beyond the fragile line that connected Hikari with me. I wish I could so easily go up to her. I wish that I could go and hold her whenever I wanted. I wish I could talk about nonsensical things with her every other day. I wish our relationship was so easy without complications and happy. But if it was so, we would have just been best friends and I definitely did not want to be that guy friends that watches over when she goes with other guys. That was too painful to think about.

These angry and jealous filled thoughts filled my mind. I woke myself by trying not to think about them, after all I was her rival now wasn't I: the opposite to a best friend. But I still yearned the closeness that I was void of with her.

I continued to amuse my self with the images that I predicted that I would be seeing in a couple of minutes while I slowly strolled towards the huge glass structure in front of me. Right now it was me that was with Hikari in some way. And there was no one as of yet that came to endanger that. I would have to be satisfied with that. I could see in front of me the image of all my friends sitting around the coffee table in their usual poses and amused myself with how ordinary this not very ordinary situation seemed to us.

Wearing my characteristic nonchalant facial expression I pushed the glass doors that led into the green house, expecting the usual.

I wasn't surprised.

A small smile appeared on my lips as I proceeded to greet my friends and my Hikari.

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I was attempted to make the scene inside the greenhouse totally different to his expectations… but that would have been too expected and over used ne? hehehhe

Thankyou to everyone that reads my story, and leaves me reviews.

Super HEARTS!!!! 333333333333333

I am actually going away next week on Monday, but I will see if I can take my computer ^^, who knows maybe ill have more spare time to fit in another chapter in or something heheh~~ n_n

So I will try my best to keep with my updating schedule of every Saturday.

Until then hope you are all well.

Peace.x.


	7. Chapter 6

My Everything.

– The Second Story.

The Sixth Chapter.

Disclaimer:  
Characters, Lyrics used are not my property, they belong to the people that have the legal papers that say that they own them.

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Where was she?

The signs of her existence in the green house, at the coffee table, sitting with everyone were there. The ridiculously high piles of textbooks that made a makeshift enclosure, a steaming rare antique cup of English tea accompanied by today a couple of soft shortbread biscuits beside the paper walls, a cloud of a hurried aura was still looming; but her presence was gone. Sure for anyone else they would just imagine the head of black hair behind those walls, but it could not fool me. There could be all the disguises in the world thrown at her, even the master of disguise of the underground crime system could attempt to hide her, but I could never fool me. I could feel her presence, the air which she carried with her constantly; and it was not here.

I was worried.

I quickly made a conscious note on my facial expression and put it in check. Indifference. I could not let slip so easily. I was the Kei; the cold indifferent genius prodigy that was the sole heir to the Takishima Group. Really school was not necessary for me, and most of my friends currently sitting around the green house for the matter; by the time I was the age to graduate primary school I had been at university level of intelligence. But like the others, I wanted to come to school. Maybe not for exactly the same reasons, but underneath the first priority the explanation for our inclination to attend school was similar. For us, being mostly the children of the highest of all high class families in the country, attending a normal school had been nearly impossible for us. As childhood friends we knew that about each other, we were different from the other kids; become alienated or used. We were thankful for this establishment.

If grandfather was to find out my inclination with Hikari, I wouldn't know what would happen. Actually it would probably involve pulling me out of school firstly, then forcing me again to work for the company with father. The only reason that he allowed my attendance was the company that I would be keeping there. It was important to build good relationships for business early he said. Also he had noted something about me getting more people skills or something; it wasn't like he had many. Although he had countless connections with the largest names in finance and business around the world, I had inherited the indifferent attitude that I carried from when I was a child for him.

Also the reactions from the rest of my friends if my inclination with Hikari became an open fact were inevitable and predictable.

Unfortunately, the little fact was not as secretive as I would have liked to think it was. For a moment Tadashi averted his attention away from the laid out tea set to look at me and humorously ask me the question he knew I didn't want to hear.

"Looking for Hikari ne Kei?"

Was my face that revealing? I had thought that I had fixed up my expression quite well. Maybe I was losing my indifferent air. Which is good thing in that the similarities between myself and grandfather decreases; but not in this moment. I didn't want to have to go through the humiliation I would be subject to if the not very secretive fact became a spoken open fact.

My eyes just bored into him and I turned to walk over to the antique table where an enormous pile of books were piled.

So many books.

Of course I had seen all of these before. Solved every question. Not that I needed to of course. Even though I was considered a genius I took every precaution to stay on top. So not to be beaten by Hikari.

While my eyes slowly scanned the numerous volumes and my fingertips softly stroked the binds I wondered: was that my only fear?

The only thing that took all my concentration was my fixation with this outwardly seeming insignificant girl. All my life I had moved forward with indifference, not a care. Nothing eve r was complicated, or difficult. Everything came easily for me. There had been nothing ever that I had longed for; or wanted that I couldn't obtain instantly. Was that why I had this growing fear inside me? My childhood friends, that now surrounded me with watching eyes, knew of my past and some even a few of my darkest secrets; not that I had many. It was difficult to make good friends at this level of society. As if a child couldn't see that you were just there for the money. For years all of us had been shunned by our own peers, and utilized by adults. Maybe this was the common ground we stood on. The ground that Hikari didn't even know.

It was amusing how one girl could consume my entire being so easily. Here I was: Kei Takishima; in all that I embodied, now just an obsesser over one small object. How pathetic. Fearing the loss of something I didn't have.

I suppose in a way my fear is justified.

There is nothing strongly holding us together, that we are both aware of. Anything that could sabotage even the smallest chance I detested, and fought against. But to her I was probably just one of these text books: emotionless, full of knowledge, a challenge to overcome. And then when, like the endless questions, were completed and she was on the end of the last page she could probably discard me for the next book that she had on her pile.

I had to get the one thing that was not like anything else in my life.

The only thing that was real.

My eyes and fingertips lingered on the worn book for just a moment longer. Not a moment too long to be noticed as slightly possessive and creepy. Tadashi had resumed his adoration for Akira's sweets. Ryuu his focus on the animals, with the twins not far behind. Akira was making the last touches to make her tea look 'positively wonderful'. And here was I, longing again to see that streak of black hair.

Slightly disturbingly, the silent Ryuu seemed to see through all my actions, however brief. His quietness hid his knowledge of everything and his acute awareness. His eyes let off a all knowing twinkle. Meeting my gaze he looked slightly to the left, a gesture that would go unnoticed by everyone else. With a small upwards twitch of his lips he beckoned me, and with a small nod encouraged me.

To the left.

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Sorry people~ T.T

I've been in Melbourne for the past week doing workshops so I couldn't update or write for that matter.

So a bit of a rushed here there chapter.

Still update this Saturday.

On partial holidays for a week so I will see if I can double update or super long chapter or both ^^

I hope everyone's well.

The weather has been chaotic in Australia = dust storms in QLD and NSW and it was super cold in MELB.

Highschool is soon coming to an end. = ='''


	8. Unnamed story preveiw Message

Hello - sorry that I haven't been very active.  
I have finally finished my finals^^ yay!!!!!  
so now I am in the awkward state between highschool and uni!  
hee hee hee~~~  
Its been so long since I've looked at both my fan fics that are supposed to be active. = ='' it will take me a while to get back into it… I don't remember what happened last ."''  
I will try to update as soon as I can with nice long posts… if I can … I do doubt my ability to make nice long chapters for you to enjoy.  
anyway in the mean time I will post this.. ~  
it is the first chapter of my unnamed story which is not a fan fic or maybe it is I don't know../ I wrote this a while back ( like when the fan fics were in somewhat way active) and havn't looked at it since… so if it is a bit cringe worthy to read.. then please stop and tell me in the reviews ^^  
if you like it I might polish it up and find somewhere to post it ^^  
happy holidays everyone!

Also again considering a pen name change… yesh I like change.. ^^

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- Yawn –

Shit. Third yawn already, only 5 minutes into my eight hour shift tonight. Eight whole long hours. I am beginning to wonder if an eight hour long shift is even legal. Any other day I would have gladly, if not extremely happily, taken it with the biggest gestures of gratitude known to human kind bestowed on my manager; but today was just not one of those days. The word that meant tired but with a stronger emphasis, give me a dictionary now, I probably one eighth of what I am feeling. guess staying up all night really wasn't a good idea. I should have listened to Jei, not that I would ever tell her that. My room mate was quite unusual and had not a very common 'common sense'. Her logic, I don't think anyone in the world could ever understand it fully, not even herself. But aside from her unique quirky not of this world –ness, with some things she was nearly always right. It's not that I didn't know this (her being right); I just usually chose to not listen to her. It was so easy. Being convincing is also not exactly part of her bag of fortes. This morning I could see the look in her eyes: that slightly superior 'I know you know that I am right' look. She says she doesn't do it on purpose. As if. In my mind I could hear her voice reeling off 'I told you', 'you never listen to me', 'see' and what not; I already knew her reaction if I told her that I was about to die on my feet right here right now, I didn't need to go through it in reality unnecessarily. And plus I was way too tired for it as well. How am I going to survive the next eight hours of work without spilling something, breaking something or just falling asleep?

The hands on the cat face clock on the opposite side of the café moved sluggishly slow. One second that seemed like nothing at other times seemed like forever. The slow, agonizing pace it took for the thin metal wire to move a fraction to the left dragging itself from the huge black number 6 to the slightly smaller grey 7 would be the reason for my very near future death. I could see through the corner of my eye Ryun, he has been working here for a couple months now, eyeing me weirdly. He must think that I'm just out of it, or a complete freak. Not a surprising reaction, after all he has known me for a few solid months, a lot of our shifts being the same time and all.

He gave me a look, mouthing : "KIA Are You Okay?"  
I just nodded in reply, too tired to fully involve myself in another of our silent conversations.  
"Late night?" he mouthed back with a suggestive twitch of his eyebrows and a hint of a playful smile on his lips.  
What else?  
Ryun made a gesture to his left, the manager was coming up. I should probably straighten up and look at least half awake before the manager notices.  
And as if our private interaction never existed we both went back to whatever we had been doing.

Working at a café had been my dream job. It had looked so glamorous and exciting. Casually serving up coffee. Meeting nice new people who soon would become your regulars and a nice chat in morning. And of course the enticing aroma coffee that would surround me constantly.

That was the really only a wistful imagination of work.

Although I had immensely enjoyed probably the first couple weeks of work, the coffee aroma that stained my clothes was truly losing its relaxing effect on me. The hours were not so joyous and flying and the job grew to fit the description of my source of income only. The novelty of being a café waitress had waned in the few months that I had been here. True, it was still fun and I had made great friends like Ryun, but it was not all that I thought it would be. The exciting events; they really only happen in movies and the small screen. And the delicious scent of roasted coffee beans was only one of the many varieties of olfactory stimulations present in the shop. Maybe that was what was putting me off my previously undoubtly favourite smell in the whole world: the association with the stench of everything else in this café. Like the overspilling bin that no one wanted to empty; that I was some how standing next to and in danger of becoming toxic waste if not emptied soon.

Great.

I could see the manager approaching; no doubt he was going to tell me to empty the barrel of toxic waste soon. Well it was inevitable. I turned to possibly the biggest breaching of work place health and safety existant. Ew. Gross.

"Stop pulling such a weird face and get it back to normal."  
My face must be playing out my disgusted, hating, annoyed and tired thoughts like a TV screen. Ryun had appeared out of nowhere from serving customers on the other side of the shop to scooping up the toxic waste.  
With a tone of relief washed with much gratefulness I replied, "Thanks so much Ryun, Ah seriously someone should report that stuff to the people that organize the protests for café workers."  
"mmm… I don't think that exists, but good luck on finding them." With a humorous expression he continued to tie an expert leak proof 'Ryun signature garbage bag' knot, "Until then I think you should suck it up before the boss realises your dazey state"  
"Right."  
"Okay now go and serve those nice people on table 8, they are the caramelized cappuccino and choc-mint frappacino."

And like the expert toxic waste handler he is, he casually sauntered out the back door with a suspicious looking black bag full of some seriously nasty cold coffee. Ryun was so nice; always saving me from even the smallest things. How did he stop the leaks? The first and only time that I have attempted to walk that coolly out the back a similar black bag I had come back half wet from gross cold leaks of a mixture of last week's failed coffees and various other leaking rubbish items. It was disgusting. Ever since then, I try to avoid the task if possible. However it didn't seem like I needed to make that big a conscious ehffort as Ryun came to save my day every time. He really was nice. I would have probably liked him by now if he wasn't so friend like. He was bad on the eyes either. He stood pretty tall, over a head taller than me. But then again not many people were shorter than me, and if they were a guy they were usually a significant number of years younger than I was. Also he was pretty well built, you could tell that we went to the gym. Also he had this slight baby face accentuated with the cutest round heavily lidded eyes that was really not fitting to his large body, but completed him all the same nicely. I knew that a significant number of the female customers that came to our café as regulars were in fact not here for the aromatic coffee but just the eye candy. Or as usually stated as "Ryu-Candy"

At table 8 was sat two giggling high school girls with their uniform skirts rolled up to reveal their fake tanned thighs and with faces caked with too much makeup. Obviously another pair of "Ryun Fans". They were too engrossed in their meaningless chatter, probably discussing useless tactics to get him somehow.

They were going to be disappointed.

I strolled over with the tray of two drinks. Surprise, surprise: two pretty pissed off glares of unsatisfaction. As I placed their drinks on their table I could see that they were scanning the place for Ryun,

"Where's the waiter?" a sharp over glossed voice demanded.  
"I am sorry, he just went out back."  
They repeated their glare at me, probably accusing me of his absence. Well I suppose it is in some way my fault, he went out so that he could throw out the rubbish that clearly tried to avoid. Looking at the over lip glossed girl she was contemplating. I half expected her to tell me to take the drinks back so that they could be served by the 'nice good looking waiter'; which actually has, funnily enough, happened before.  
"Um… then okay. His shift isn't finished though right?"  
Good choice. With my present mood if she did tell me to take the drinks back I would have just scoffed at her and done something that would put my café waitressing career in jeopardy. I suppose as soon as they saw Ryun walk through the door they would find something to order, good business for the manager though I suppose.  
"Yeah, his shift doesn't end 'til late tonight."  
With hopeful smiles on their faces they then proceeded to ignore me and continue with their chatter. I swear that guy needs to get a girl friend soon, the way he complains about some of the slutty ones. I'm pretty sure, well it is quite obvious, that he would pick up a girl quite easily, and a lot of the girls are pretty nice. But then his rebuttal to this is always that the manager will be pissed and that the mean horde would probably torture his only love. Yes, he is also quite corny when he wants to be.

According to the agonizingly slow clock there was still hours to go, and scanning the today's customers there were more less than pleasant encounters with Ryun fans to come as well. Ergh, I spotted a particularly bad one on table 5. Please don't make serve Shelley Moorehouse please, and I promise to be happy for the rest of my shift unlike my mood right now. I already see her at school and she is a bitch there so I'm pretty sure that there will be nothing to stop her from being one now. And I am really very very tired. In the corner of my eye I spot the manager about catch my attention. Please I am silently begging you, manager please don't make me go to the table. Can't you feel the my desperate aura telling you that I do not want to go to the table, and I am now fully awake?

"Hey_____, can you go serve table 5?"

The manager is definitely against me today.


	9. Chapter 7

My Everything

The Seventh Chapter.

Disclaimer:

Characters and anything with the manga "Special A" do not in anyway belong to me. Everything belongs to the people who own the legal papers to say they own them. I'm just having a bit of fun with some spare time.

* * *

Left.

To the left he signaled.

Quickly giving a small nod of gratitude, I turned left. The West green house door was slightly ajar. Of course.

Trying to appear conspicuous, not obvious, I walked as quick as I could without drawing attention to myself. Yes, this is normal; Kei bored again or going to the computer lab upstairs to do more work for the company. Sure my sudden appearance then rushed disappearance is completely acceptable. Right? The others wouldn't think anything of it. Perfectly acceptable Kei-like behavior. Right? Right? No, it didn't look like I was in a hurry and that it was taking all the effort in my being not to yell her name and run out that glass door. No, it didn't. Except inside that was exactly what I was doing. Mentally I was screening every direction one could have gone when running out of that exit. With all my heart I was screaming out her name in desperation. Inside myself I was torn with worry to what could have happened. Why did she leave? Why wasn't she at the green house as I had saw her run into. And why was it that I had to reassure myself of my outwards appearance.

But most of all the fear that consumed me most at the time was the small inkling that she must have left recently and it was because of me. The door was still slowly swinging to a stop at its hinges. She couldn't have left that long ago. From my distant secret patch she was running towards the greenhouse. Joyously I assume. There are not many times where Hikari is distressed or not happy. Lets say except the time the exam results arrive or some competition ends between ourselves ends. Yes, definitely she had that spring in her step as she practically skipped to the green house before. The tea, she had a cup of tea at her set up. If she was already upset or planning not to stay long she wouldn't have let Akira pour her tea yet, or she would have quickly drunken it.

Did I do something wrong?

Did she run away because of me?

Then to think about it, it was Tadashi that asked me whether I was looking for Hikari. Filled with wanderlust I wouldn't consider him the most sharp and observant of our group. I was even surprised that he had noticed.

Maybe she did leave because of me.

From the North door, there was no way that I could have seen her if she had left as I had entered. The oversized ferns which welcomed you around the entrance made it impossible to see the central tea area until walking further in.

There wasn't anyone left to come in. I had been the last one to be arrive at the green house.

Even though I couldn't be seen, the door still could be heard.

Had she walked away at the sound of my entering?

Stepping slowly through the glass door I paused.

Outside it just looked like any other school, the other clubs doing their daily activities; the sports clubs were running laps of the oval, the drama club had come outside to observe nature, from the music rooms the sounds of the orchestra flowed. Then there was that couple that snuck out of their club activities for the day just to spend some time with each was at the place. They were there, they wanted to be and those around them also wanted them there. Enjoying each other's company.

A simple relationship.

A two sided relationship.

I sighed aloud, sliding down the outer glass walls of the green house to sit on the dusty ground that framed the edges of the green house.

What am I doing?

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its 2010.

to the my readers which i am always thankful for I am terribly sorry that i havent been very productive the past few months.

i had to scan though all my chapters online today to get the general gist of what i had written already since i changed my computer and anything that i did write for further chapters is gone T.T

if you liked it or didn't i hope you will comment ^^

reveiws motivate me to continue writing..

** actually i just restarted becuase i saw that i had received a review today .''''' **

anyway i hope that everyone is doing well..

i will try to brainstorm a bit more and find the inspiration for a longer chapter ^^

until then.


	10. Chapter 8

My Everything

The Eighth Chapter.

Disclaimer:

Characters and anything with the manga "Special A" do not in anyway belong to me. Everything belongs to the people who own the legal papers to say they own them. I'm just having a bit of fun with some spare time.

* * *

Why couldn't life just be simple.

Simple like those people over there. That girl and boy sitting smiling on that park bench beneath the shading trees. Happy just being together, equally.

I like you.

I like you too.

Let's go out.

Can it be that simple? Can it be that simple?

Hikari. Kei.

Why can't it just be like that for us?

Looking at that couple I couldn't help let out a small chuckle. It was an empty laugh. No, it was filled with disbelief that I could even consider for a second that we could be like that couple talking on the bench. A sad laughter. An angry laughter. With the beaten posture, the slight moistness beginning to wet my eyes and the small trickles of laughs that escaped my mouth; some could look at me and think that Kei Takashima had finally cracked. He had finally decided to show some sort of emotion outwards, even though the expression was somewhat maniacal and beyond everyday.

He was human after all. He wasn't just some perfect being that was moulded to be the next figure head of the Takashima group. He wasn't just this empty shell of indifference to the rest of the world. There are things in the world that can make him crack. There are things in the world that can break through that invisible exterior shell of repelling air to really touch and prod whatever is in the inside.

There are things, however insignificant that particular person may seen in the grand scheme of the world.

How did she get under my skin like this?

That girl. One girl. The girl.

Nothing in my life had before done anything thing like this to me. Never had such an effect. Never so effective at manipulating my normal trains of thought and actions into unforeseeable tangents and planes. Nothing before could have had me pitifully staring up into the blue sky with the excess moisture that was building up in the corners of my eyes. No one ever caused me to question myself and drop my mask to be playful and tease, and even more so to worry.

But she had always had this effect on me. From the time I first got hit with the electric touch and the refreshing scent. From the time she wouldn't back down from a challenge. From the time that she was the one refreshing person that treated me differently. From the time she called out my name with her confident voice "Takashima!".

"Takashima, Takashima, Takashima!"

Her smiling face and sweet voice resonated in my mind. Turning around and around, until I could have become drunk off the images and sounds. Maybe I was drunk; intoxicated by the presence of Hikari in my life. I had fallen. Fallen from that perfect image that was Kei Takashima. Fallen because of her, down to her simplistic level where only the present and no burdens of a huge corporation existed. And it could not be denied that I had fallen deep; into the deepest hole that Earth could provide.

Sighing I decided I should probably go to the computer lab. That was probably what it looked like I was doing anyway. There was some paper work that I could do for the company anyway. It would keep Grandfather happy and unsuspecting if I continued to do more than the standard amount of work. I shouldn't be sitting here and letting myself get lost in thoughts about her, bringing to the surface emotions that I didn't express as even a child. Yes, I must plunge myself back into that monotonous world to balance my mask again.

Slowly I got up from my dusty seat out side the green house. I knew that I could only look wistfully at her form afar. Even with that, just been able to be near her, I should be happy. It was a rare freedom to be able to attend school and interact with other kids my age. Dusting off the seat of my pants and blinking away the residue emotion that was left, I looked up away from the couple at the park benches.

"Takashima? Where are you going?"

Immediately I was faced with the petite being that I had been worrying about this whole time. Her face was full of curiosity as she blinked at me. I was frozen.

"Aren't you going to the green house today? Akira made some really nice tea today. You know the one that changes colour? Her magic tea that brings happiness. And the cookies she made smelt really good. I'm just hoping that Tadashi hasn't inhaled all of them by now."

She's back. And like nothing was wrong. Like she hadn't disappeared suddenly from her usual spot.

"Hikari, where did you just come from?" I managed to choke out in my shocked state sounding completely normal in my indifferent voice.

Showing me a text book she hastily replied, "Oh I just needed this book so I went to the library and borrowed it. I thought I had my copy in the greenhouse but I think that I left it at home after reading it last night."

"Oh."

And with that she happily went though the glass door with her book.

I looked up towards the sky again.

She was only gone for a couple minutes to get a book she left behind. Nothing personal about me. Really nothing to do with me at all. Just to get another textbook to add to her pile. And she walked past with blissful ignorance.

Kei Takashima, when did you become this pathetic.

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it was a fast update right? ^^

thankyou again to everyone that reads my work XD

it makes me so excited that people do read it and like it.

I would like to wish everyone a happy new year and happy valentines day.

Hope you all had a good one ^^

ahh i dont know where this is going to lead too.

Maybe i will write a new chapter tomo. I would like to try writing in hikaris perspective as well.. .. hmmm anyway give me your thoughts ^^


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